.

You know what? rasanya gue pengen ganti header blog gue jadi "blog galau" abisan bete abodo blog gue ini. gasuka? yabodo-_- plis stress.

jadi-gue-kangen-lo yg terutama.

terus gue kangen lawakan lo.

kangen gombalan lo.

kangen kapan aja gue mau chat sama lo, gue tinggal nyapa gaperlu kaya sekarang.

kangen kapan aja mau ngomong sama lo, tinggal ngomong.

kangen chat sepanjang hari.

kangen berantem .

kangen ketawa bareng.

kangen chat sampe pagi.

kangen kalo pagi pagi, di koridor gue udh liat sepatu lo, gue nyampe kelas lo nyamperin kalo pagi, kalo gue kedinginan lo megangin tangan gue sampe gue ga kedinginan lagi.

kangen kalo setiap istirahat kedua pas bel lo selalu bilang "zah udh stgh jam gaketemu, kangen:D".

kangen peluk.

kangen kalo udh mau pulang lo selalu cium tangan.

kangen mama-ayah.

kangen kalo bangku sebelah kosong pasti lo nyamperin.

kangen kalo gue sendiri pasti lo nyamperin.

kangen alasan dibalik senyum lo itu gue.

kangen dikangenin sama lo.

kangen disayangin sama lo.

gue kangen 'kita' ;'D

hem.

yaaa seperti judulnya, hidup gue makin gajelas kesininya, makin random, makin terpuruk teruuuus sampe bawah tanah bawahnya lagi ya. kalo ga ada Allah, keluarga, knzvm, temen temen gatau deh gimana jadinya. gue cuma bingung satu doang, kenapa harus terpuruk disaat kelas 9 plis udh ga ada penyemangat lagi, udh betein yg gue liat lo lagi tp lo bukan siapa siapa gue lagi, nyapa juga engga, sadar gue ada juga engga. gue cumamau cerita aja koook, ga bermaksud nyari perhatian atau gimanaaaaa, cuma gatau aja mau cerita ke siapa lagi setelah semuanya udh capek juga kali dengernya.

kadang gue cuma capek kok nunggu lo, kadang gue mikir gue harus move on ya emg sebenernya harus tp gue udh terlanjur jatuh cinta sama perasaan ini, gue gamau ngilangin perasaan ini, gue gatau gimana. tapi kadang gue mikir, kalo gue punya cowok takut gue msh kepikiran sama lo. senyum lo itu lohh yailah.....bikin melt banget njir.

coba ajaaa lo tau isi semua notes gue, semua foto yg gue hide, lo bisa baca pikiran gue, lo tau semua tweets gue buat lo.....mungkin lo ga bakal ngapa ngapain-_- cuma nyengar nyengir gajelas. gue tau kok mungkin karma dulu gue nyakitin orang, mungkin juga dulu gue sok strong bisa tanpa lo, gue yang mutusin lo tapi ternyata. gatau mau gimanaaaAaAaAa capek iya tapi engga juga kalo emang menunggu itu akhirnya ada hasilnya.

gue suka bingung sendiri, kenapa gue masih mikir kalo lo balik lagi itu lo ga bakal kaya dulu, lo bakal sayang gue, gue bakalan lebih sabar. padahal gue sendiri ga percaya kalo itu bakalan berjalan. gue cuma gamau kelas 9 gue ancurrr TT_TT plis banget yaaaaa gue capek ga dianggep terus. lo berusaha apapun buat dapetin dia sementara itulah yg gue lakuin disini.

I'm still here. never go away. never change. still love you with all my heart.

You.

Mungkin gue belum cerita sama sekali loh soal ini, yaudah dengerin aja ya curhatan gue, galauan gue tepatnya.

Jadi ceritanya adalah gue sayang lagi sama mantan gue. ga perlu di frontalin ya^^ gatau juga mantan yg mana......haha boong deng. ygitu tuuu oke lanjut, awalnya dari pengakuan dia pas pariwisata ke bandung, dia ngaku kalo dia nyesel nyakitin lo. Asal lo tau sebenernya gue gapernah bener bener lupain lo, jadi pas lo melakukan pengakuan atau balik ke gue, gue masih sayang lo kaya dulu, masih nerima lo kaya dulu. Nah yaudah semenjak hari itu gue berharap lagi sama dia, gue cerita ke temen temen kalo gue sayang lg sama dia, lo bayangin gimana rasanya mantan yg lo sayang dulu nyakitin lo itu minta maaf sama lo, lo ngmg serius berdua dia dan segalamacem, meskipun omongan itu ga ada buktinya sama sekali.

Pariwisata berlalu, liburan berjalan~ udhtuuuh liburan gue msh sayang sm dia, sampe akhirnya masuk sekolah dan mos, dan mos ini yg paling nyesek bos! hahaha 3 hari mos ini udh paraah, dia super memberikan harapan. gue udh bener bener fix ketergantungan sama dia, emang gue cuma deket disekolah tp di bbm engga, salahnya gue he just proves with his actions, i need his words too! karena ternyata dia bbm cewek lain....hari ke3 selesai mos dia jadian sama cewek lain haha you know what? pas disini gue nangisnya sampe sesek sesek wkwk gaulya karena ini super dalem mabroo.

Akhirnya sudah lewatlah dia putus sm ceweknya ganyampe sebulan, beredar rumor eyaa rumor wkwk kalo dia mutusin ceweknya demi gue, gadeng gapercaya. teruus beneran tuh dia bbm gue dan ini juga parah cui dia udh unyu di bbm udh ya yg begitu deh begimana sih memberi harapan. dan sampe akhirnya dia cerita ke temennya dia mau ninggalin gue, dan sejak saat itu dia gapernah nyapa bbm lagi, pergi begitu aja hahaha.

"Gue cuma mau bilang, disaat lo udh gatau mau ke siapa, lo kehilangan semuanya. gue masih tetep disini kok, perasaan gue ga pernah berubah, tapi gue ga ngemis kok. karena sebenernya gue gapernah bener bener pergi&lupa sama lo. Gue cuma menjauh. Semoga lo bahagia bersama pilihan lo. "

Friendship.

Friendship isn't a big thing, it's a million little things.
yap quotes diatas cukup memberi arti banyak buat gue thanks for everything and every little thing you give to me god, i love you! yes include this, big family and best friends. 5 temen terbaik gue yg ga muna ga fake kita begini mau lo congean kentut jelek putih item dan apaaaa aja tp ini kita, do silly things together and forever young. 5 true friends buat gue lebih berharga dari 100 temen fake, two face. oke semua pasti tau temen yg gue maksud haha ga semua juga deng. pokoknya begini dan gue udh ngabisin 3 tahun bersama mereka dan mau curhat dikit yah.

jadi ceritanya kemaren seru banget gue gowes sama annisa, avira, prama dan satu makhluk baru bernama eqal sayangnya kinan tidak ikut soalnya dia lg gaboleh kesini dan oke awalnya gue bangun pagi jam 6 kebangun gara gara sakit perut dan gue langsung sms annisa dan untuk pertama kalinya annisa bales sms sepagi ini, setengah 7 dia sms jadi gowes tp jam 7 oke akhirnya gue izin trs siap siap smsan sama annisa dan janjian di mcd, mereka jemput gue dan pas sampe mcd itu sedal sepeda annisa copot ditabrak avira dan akhirnya cari tempat tambel ban dan udh tuh kelar sedalnya annisa dan gue baru sadar kalo yg jemput gue cuma annisa avira dan prama kemana eqal? ternyata dia blm bangun dan akhirnya kita ke sektor 5 jemput eqal nungguin eqal mandi.
oke akhirnya perjalanan dimulai, awalnya kita cuma mau lewat jalan jalan kecil, semua maunya kita nyasar biar tau jalan baru dan seru trs akhirnya lewat pjmi ke arah albin dan gue ke indomaret tuh prama beli minum, lanjut lagi perjalanan mau ke sevel veteran haha akhirnya lewatin sd 03 jalanannya grejek grejek wkwk dan sampelah istirahat bentar lalala taunya avira harus ke lc yaudah mau ga mau ke lc nemenin dia naik sepeda, dia ke lc gue annisa prama eqal muter muter komplek dan ngakaknya behhh capek ngakak daripada gowes wakakakak dan akhirnya dari lc pulang lewat jalan raya dan avira udh minta minta lewat jalan kecil aja gara gara dia udh mau ketabrak mulu tapi yg mau lewat jalan raya banyak wakakak kan ceritanya voting....dan akhirnya jalan sampe superindo dan istirahat dan akhirnya sampai di perempatan bp dan istirahat wkwk lagi. dan akhirnya sampe dirumah avira hmmpppffft capek HAHAHAlay dan makan seru main main xbox dan akhirnya gue pulang, sekian.

-xx zahra

i dunno why.

haaai udh lama bgt gtya ga ngepost, kali ini gue mau ngepost yg random random aja oke?oke langsung ajah.
hari ini, mungkin bisa dibilang akhir akhir ini, hape jadi rame, seneng rasanya, tapi pernah ga lo ngerasain yg ngeramein hape lo tuh bukan yg lo mau?
pernah ga ngerasain semuanya dibawah? soal ekonomi, friendship, family, relationship or love? masalah sm nilai nilai?
pernah lo ngerasain bener bener gaada yg peduli? dibuang, disalahin? dimarahin? dituduh?
gue buntu kawan. bukan cuma soal cowok, semuanya. tapi siapa yg tau? keluarga gue juga gatau. gue belajar kok dari semuanya, tapi gue butuh semuanya gue butuh org org lebih perhatian. gue kuat, kuat bgt malah. sampe kadang org gasadar kalo gue selemah ini.
selalu senengin diri sendiri dan selalu senengin org lain. dan seperti inilah "gue bantu mereka bangun saat mereka jatuh, tapi mereka lupa kalo mereka udh bangkit" kayaknya pantes buat kalian. ga cuma ini doang sih, banyak juga.
gue berusaha kok naikin nilai buat banggain ortu, sekalipun gue gagal mulu, karena bagi gue skrg gue cuma percaya knzvm dan keluarga. cuma itu. SIAPA YG PEDULI SM GUE? sekian.

Welcome to My Life lyrics.

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on, turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like, to be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark
To be kicked, when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
Well deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark
To be kicked, when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lies straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

To be hurt, to feel lost, to be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down
When no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like


why i'm post this lyrics? cause this lyrics reflect my life. and im sooooooooooooo bored and nothing to do and im not have idea for post something about my story. umm but this is some story of my life too......so? oke just enjoy this.

xx-zahra

THIS-IS-MY-LIFE.

You know that feeling?
When you're just waiting.
Waiting to get home, into your room.
Close the door, fall into bed.
and just let everything out that you kept in all day.
That feeling of both relief and desperation.
Nothing is wrong.
But nothing is right either.
And you're tired.
Tired of everything, tired of nothing.
And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay.
But no one's going to be there.
And you know you have to be strong.
for your self, because no one can fix you.
But you're tired of waiting.
Tired of having to be the one to fix your self and everyone else.
Tired of being strong.
And for once, you just want it to be easy.
To be simple. To be helped. To be saved.
But you know you won't be.
But you're still hoping.
And you're still wishing.
And you're still staying strong and fighting.
With tears in your eyes.
Your fighting.
xx -tumblr.